Well its been a busy few days. Holly was feeling fine on Monday and really looking forward to spending a few hours at school. It was the first time she has been since her diagnosis so I was surprised she was so positive. I took her in at 12.15pm and it was so lovely to see her friends run excitedly over to her. The arrangement was that I was to collect her at 2.15pm unless she decided to stay and she would get the office to call me to get her later. Needless to say I went in at 2.15pm and she said "oh, I'm not coming home now, can you come back?". I didn't mind though, it was wonderful to see her back where she should be, but it was hard knowing that this is no longer her life now.
The nurse came to take Hollys bloods on Tuesday. I thought her levels would be low as she has had some nose bleeds and is very tired. I was right, her levels are very low and she is neutropenic (this means she is very susceptible to infection). As her platelets and HB levels are also low she needs 2 units of blood and a platelet transfusion. Dad took Holly to Lister for her platelets and 1 unit of blood and that took until after 11pm. She then stayed with Dad and Kirsty ready for her trip to Addenbrookes on Wednesday. This was for her GFR test (kidney function). This involves being injected with radioactive liquid and then blood tests at 2/3 and 4 hour intervals. She then had her 2nd unit of blood after, and got home around 8pm. It has been a long couple of days for her but I can see the difference since yesterday. She has much more energy and is in a much better mood today!
I have had a lovely day with the Little Monsters, we had a great time at toddler group this morning and a lovely afternoon with the Little Monster Cousins. Heres hoping the fresh air has knackered them out (it has certainly had that affect on me!)
Tomorrow is a free day (no nurses/hospital) so I am hoping to get a few bits done. We are due back in Addenbrookes on Friday for the weekend and it is also Harrys birthday on Sunday. I can't believe how quick this year has gone and how much has happened. This time last year my biggest worry was how I was going to cope with the night feeds again. I didn't realise how lucky I was.
All being well we are planning a party for Harry on Monday. Fingers crossed we get out and have some sunshine, as I think the BBQ could do with its first outing this year.
Wednesday 29 April 2009
Sunday 26 April 2009
And So The Nurse Came....And Came...
We escaped from C2 on Thursday night at about 8.30pm, yay!
Friday was a great day. Holly was feeling fine and Nana came over to stay with her to let me take the Little Monsters to baby group. I love doing this, I can almost pretend that life is normal watching them playing with all their little friends. I can see how much Harry is turning into a proper little man now. He is so happy crawling around and generally doesn't bother where I am. That said, there was a rather scary looking nan there who, when Harry crawled past her, started talking to him. He went stock still for about a minute, staring at her, but then dissolved into tears. I know this wasn't funny but me and Auntie Clare were doubled over in hysterics at him! I thoroughly enjoyed it, even the singing time at the end.
Holly spent the evening at Dad and Kirstys so I decided to make the most of it and go out with my lovely friends, Max, Jane and Julie. The plan was to go out for a few drinks. The best laid plans though... Harry (who is always as good as gold at night, usually) decided that he would wake up just before I was due to go out and have a hysterical scream. Teeth, I decided, so I went in armed with the teething gel. I have now realised that sticking my fingers down his throat after a large bottle of milk and a big dinner is not a good idea (him, not me). He sicked all over me (freshly showered and hair straightened). This was not a good sign and I took it as an omen that maybe I shouldn't be going out (I was feeling really guilty about having a life!). Ben convinced me that I definitely had to go out (the x-box was calling him) and I am so glad I did. It was fantastic to just relax with a few glasses of wine and some great mates. Thanks girls.
Saturday was a day for catching up with shopping and washing. I am very very lucky that, when I am in hospital with Holly, my mum moves in. Therefore when I come back, my house is immaculate. Thank you mum.
Immaculate houses (particularly cupboards) are not my strong point and Ben was very disappointed that, within a day of being back, the kids cupboard (plates and beakers etc) is now a complete mess. As is the baby food cupboard. It was all very neatly arranged into breakfasts / mains and desserts but I have decimated this into a total jumble. Apparently this is not fair on my mum as she cannot see into this cupboard (it is a high one and she is only 4ft 11!) and, sighing, Ben has now restored order.
Hollys insuflon (a bit like a canula for injecting into) in her leg was really sore so we had to call the nurse to come and change it. The community team are great and they came round within the hour. This was fine until, about 2hrs later, Holly managed to knock it out when she was getting changed. The has never happened before and it had to be a Sunday. Cringing, I called the childrens A@E centre and offered to come in to have yet another one put it. They wouldn't hear of it and the nurse came back out to us. There is so much negative press about the NHS but I have to say that, apart from the local hospital, I can't praise them enough.
Tomorrow is quite a big day for Holly. She is due to go back to school for the first time since diagnosis for a few hours. She is really looking forward to it but I know it might be a little overwhelming. We are hoping this will become a regular occurence inbetween treatments as it is so important for her to keep up (on a social as well as a school work basis).
Friday was a great day. Holly was feeling fine and Nana came over to stay with her to let me take the Little Monsters to baby group. I love doing this, I can almost pretend that life is normal watching them playing with all their little friends. I can see how much Harry is turning into a proper little man now. He is so happy crawling around and generally doesn't bother where I am. That said, there was a rather scary looking nan there who, when Harry crawled past her, started talking to him. He went stock still for about a minute, staring at her, but then dissolved into tears. I know this wasn't funny but me and Auntie Clare were doubled over in hysterics at him! I thoroughly enjoyed it, even the singing time at the end.
Holly spent the evening at Dad and Kirstys so I decided to make the most of it and go out with my lovely friends, Max, Jane and Julie. The plan was to go out for a few drinks. The best laid plans though... Harry (who is always as good as gold at night, usually) decided that he would wake up just before I was due to go out and have a hysterical scream. Teeth, I decided, so I went in armed with the teething gel. I have now realised that sticking my fingers down his throat after a large bottle of milk and a big dinner is not a good idea (him, not me). He sicked all over me (freshly showered and hair straightened). This was not a good sign and I took it as an omen that maybe I shouldn't be going out (I was feeling really guilty about having a life!). Ben convinced me that I definitely had to go out (the x-box was calling him) and I am so glad I did. It was fantastic to just relax with a few glasses of wine and some great mates. Thanks girls.
Saturday was a day for catching up with shopping and washing. I am very very lucky that, when I am in hospital with Holly, my mum moves in. Therefore when I come back, my house is immaculate. Thank you mum.
Immaculate houses (particularly cupboards) are not my strong point and Ben was very disappointed that, within a day of being back, the kids cupboard (plates and beakers etc) is now a complete mess. As is the baby food cupboard. It was all very neatly arranged into breakfasts / mains and desserts but I have decimated this into a total jumble. Apparently this is not fair on my mum as she cannot see into this cupboard (it is a high one and she is only 4ft 11!) and, sighing, Ben has now restored order.
Hollys insuflon (a bit like a canula for injecting into) in her leg was really sore so we had to call the nurse to come and change it. The community team are great and they came round within the hour. This was fine until, about 2hrs later, Holly managed to knock it out when she was getting changed. The has never happened before and it had to be a Sunday. Cringing, I called the childrens A@E centre and offered to come in to have yet another one put it. They wouldn't hear of it and the nurse came back out to us. There is so much negative press about the NHS but I have to say that, apart from the local hospital, I can't praise them enough.
Tomorrow is quite a big day for Holly. She is due to go back to school for the first time since diagnosis for a few hours. She is really looking forward to it but I know it might be a little overwhelming. We are hoping this will become a regular occurence inbetween treatments as it is so important for her to keep up (on a social as well as a school work basis).
Thursday 23 April 2009
In Hospital
We came into ward C2 on Tuesday for round 7 of chemo. The ward was full up when we arrived but after a short time in the day unit we had a bed and the chemo could begin. This round is a 4hr chemo then 24hrs hydration then another 4hr chemo and 24hrs hydration. All being well we should finish by about 7pm on today (Thursday) and then we are allowed home.
Holly was quite disappointed not to be in the dreaded G bay (4 bedded room and can be very cramped) as her friend Jess was still there. As it happens we are in A bay (very nice) and have a tv that stays on after 9pm! (managed to be able to watch The Apprentice, hooray!)
Tuesday night and Wednesday morning were quite tough as Holly was sick a few times and felt very queasy. She was much better by the afternoon though and even allowed dad and Kirsty to visit. I took advantage of this and hopped on a bus (!!!) and went for a wander round Cambridge in the sun. It was wonderful to be out of the hospital but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was "bunking off". I think it was a much needed break for both of us.
Today Holly woke feeling much better and even wanted breakfast straight away (a good sign for the day). She told me in no uncertain terms that she was definitely NOT going to go to school. I didn't argue because I knew what would happen and I was right. The teacher poked her head round, asked Holly if she was coming to school today and Holly, very brightly and politely, said yes, of course! (cue much laughter from me once the teacher had gone). It does her good to get out and about and its only for the morning.
We had some more positive news today, Hollys urine results (where the neuroblastoma was first detected) were right down and almost back to normal, and her bone marrow biopsy results were also much better. Annie (one of the docs) was very pleased and has assured me we are heading in the right direction. She will have one more burst of chemo and then some more scans. When the results of these are in then a decision will be made about surgery. It feels strange to be nearing the end of this first round of treatment because it has been my main focus for the last couple of months. I know I will then have to get my head round what comes next and its quite daunting.
Holly was quite disappointed not to be in the dreaded G bay (4 bedded room and can be very cramped) as her friend Jess was still there. As it happens we are in A bay (very nice) and have a tv that stays on after 9pm! (managed to be able to watch The Apprentice, hooray!)
Tuesday night and Wednesday morning were quite tough as Holly was sick a few times and felt very queasy. She was much better by the afternoon though and even allowed dad and Kirsty to visit. I took advantage of this and hopped on a bus (!!!) and went for a wander round Cambridge in the sun. It was wonderful to be out of the hospital but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was "bunking off". I think it was a much needed break for both of us.
Today Holly woke feeling much better and even wanted breakfast straight away (a good sign for the day). She told me in no uncertain terms that she was definitely NOT going to go to school. I didn't argue because I knew what would happen and I was right. The teacher poked her head round, asked Holly if she was coming to school today and Holly, very brightly and politely, said yes, of course! (cue much laughter from me once the teacher had gone). It does her good to get out and about and its only for the morning.
We had some more positive news today, Hollys urine results (where the neuroblastoma was first detected) were right down and almost back to normal, and her bone marrow biopsy results were also much better. Annie (one of the docs) was very pleased and has assured me we are heading in the right direction. She will have one more burst of chemo and then some more scans. When the results of these are in then a decision will be made about surgery. It feels strange to be nearing the end of this first round of treatment because it has been my main focus for the last couple of months. I know I will then have to get my head round what comes next and its quite daunting.
Saturday 18 April 2009
Platelets
Being at home this week has mainly involved pottering around, shopping and cooking! Holly has been helping with all the various dishes she has been demanding and has made cottage pie, lasagne and even helped with roast chicken and all the trimmings. Her appetite has been good (thankfully) and she has been feeling really well.
We noticed on Friday that she had a few bruises come up on her legs and her nose had been bleeding a little bit. This is a sure sign that her platelets are low. Platelets deal with the clotting of the blood so if they go too low she would be at risk of a serious bleed that wouldn't stop. I called the community nurses and they were great, they were round within the hour to take a full blood count. The results came through about 4.30pm and her platelets were only 11 (Holly usually shows symptoms under 20) so a transfusion was needed. Lister called to let me know that they had a cubicle reserved for her and they would call me later to let me know when to bring her in. To cut a long, boring story short they told us to come in by 8pm, the platelets weren't put up until 10.30pm and she didn't get home until after midnight! Its safe to say that both times she has had to go to Lister they didn't impress! I think that being used to Addenbrookes really spoils you as they are so efficient.
Holly had a lovely lie in this morning and Ben got up with the Little Monsters so I managed a lie in until 7.30am! We have had a word with them today and asked for 8am tomorrow (not holding my breath though).
As it was such a gorgeous day we decided to all go to Van Hages for the afternoon. This was like a well planned military operation as, due to the 2 big car seats in now, we needed to take 2 cars. Apparently I drive much too quickly....
We wandered round the animals, Izzy explored all the houses/sheds and myself, Holly and Izzy had a ride on the minature steam train. It was a great afternoon rounded off with a cup of tea and ice creams all round.
We are due back in Addenbrookes on Tuesday for round 7 of chemo.
We noticed on Friday that she had a few bruises come up on her legs and her nose had been bleeding a little bit. This is a sure sign that her platelets are low. Platelets deal with the clotting of the blood so if they go too low she would be at risk of a serious bleed that wouldn't stop. I called the community nurses and they were great, they were round within the hour to take a full blood count. The results came through about 4.30pm and her platelets were only 11 (Holly usually shows symptoms under 20) so a transfusion was needed. Lister called to let me know that they had a cubicle reserved for her and they would call me later to let me know when to bring her in. To cut a long, boring story short they told us to come in by 8pm, the platelets weren't put up until 10.30pm and she didn't get home until after midnight! Its safe to say that both times she has had to go to Lister they didn't impress! I think that being used to Addenbrookes really spoils you as they are so efficient.
Holly had a lovely lie in this morning and Ben got up with the Little Monsters so I managed a lie in until 7.30am! We have had a word with them today and asked for 8am tomorrow (not holding my breath though).
As it was such a gorgeous day we decided to all go to Van Hages for the afternoon. This was like a well planned military operation as, due to the 2 big car seats in now, we needed to take 2 cars. Apparently I drive much too quickly....
We wandered round the animals, Izzy explored all the houses/sheds and myself, Holly and Izzy had a ride on the minature steam train. It was a great afternoon rounded off with a cup of tea and ice creams all round.
We are due back in Addenbrookes on Tuesday for round 7 of chemo.
Monday 13 April 2009
We Are Home
As the title says we have been released!
Holly had her blood transfusion last night and has woken up with lovely pink cheeks today. The docs decided that, as her platelets were dropping, they would give her a top up this morning to save us having to come back later in the week. They are very considerate as they are aware how precious and beneficial time at home is. Holly is definitely feeling better today as she actually managed breakfast, a macdonalds on the way home and decided that only a dominos would do tonight! I am fed up of junk food so am intending to go to Tescos tomorrow and stock up, to do loads of good wholesome cooking this week. Being in hospital and only having a microwave at your disposal really makes you appreciate veggies and pasta!
We had a lovely afternoon in the park. Izzy was being a daredevil wanting to be pushed higher and higher in the swing, until she spotted a fly and had a major hissy. She has developed a complete irrational fear on any insect, even the ladybird is a problem. She believes that because it has spots then it is poorly!
Harry loved the swings and the slide and even Holly, who is usually much too cool, couldn't resist climbing up the climbing frame and sliding down the slide numerous times (I wouldn't mind but she was wearing white jeans and the slide was filthy!). She really enjoyed herself and it was great to see them all playing together.
We should (hopefully, fingers crossed) have a week at home now as we are not due back until next Tuesday.
Holly had her blood transfusion last night and has woken up with lovely pink cheeks today. The docs decided that, as her platelets were dropping, they would give her a top up this morning to save us having to come back later in the week. They are very considerate as they are aware how precious and beneficial time at home is. Holly is definitely feeling better today as she actually managed breakfast, a macdonalds on the way home and decided that only a dominos would do tonight! I am fed up of junk food so am intending to go to Tescos tomorrow and stock up, to do loads of good wholesome cooking this week. Being in hospital and only having a microwave at your disposal really makes you appreciate veggies and pasta!
We had a lovely afternoon in the park. Izzy was being a daredevil wanting to be pushed higher and higher in the swing, until she spotted a fly and had a major hissy. She has developed a complete irrational fear on any insect, even the ladybird is a problem. She believes that because it has spots then it is poorly!
Harry loved the swings and the slide and even Holly, who is usually much too cool, couldn't resist climbing up the climbing frame and sliding down the slide numerous times (I wouldn't mind but she was wearing white jeans and the slide was filthy!). She really enjoyed herself and it was great to see them all playing together.
We should (hopefully, fingers crossed) have a week at home now as we are not due back until next Tuesday.
Sunday 12 April 2009
Happy Easter
Well we haven't had a very fun Easter Weekend. We came into Addenbrookes on Good Friday and are still here.
Having amazed the docs with how she was sailing through her chemo the sickness kicked in on this session. This is the "norm" as the drug she is having this time is particularly nasty. She was sick a few times last night and a couple of times today. Today is definitely better as she has managed to eat a few things although she still feels sick. Her blood levels have also been low so she is having a transfusion tonight and we can hopefully go home tomorrow. A good point came when I spoke to one of the docs, Hollys MRI shows a visible reduction in her hip tumour and this means that the chemo is having the desired effect. We don't know whether she will need surgery or not, this will be decided after more scans at the end of the chemo. It is the best result we could hope for at this stage of the treatment.
She has been alleviating the boredom with watching tv, msn and making new friends. It was very funny (and typical teenager!) that her and her new friend were msn'ing each other throughout the evening, even though they are in opposite beds and could just talk to each other! Holly missed out on the Easter Egg Hunt this morning though as she was feeling so rubbish. She still managed to aquire quite a few eggs though, loads are donated to the childrens wards. I am sure Izzy will help her out when we get home.
All has been well at home, Ben has been coping very well apparently. He took the Little Monsters to a dads baby group on Saturday (the first time he has taken them both out by himself) with Auntie Steve (Izzy doesnt say uncle) and the Little Monster cousins. They both decided that being "mums" was definitely easier than working all day! Right.............
I think we are both missing home and can't wait to get back.
Having amazed the docs with how she was sailing through her chemo the sickness kicked in on this session. This is the "norm" as the drug she is having this time is particularly nasty. She was sick a few times last night and a couple of times today. Today is definitely better as she has managed to eat a few things although she still feels sick. Her blood levels have also been low so she is having a transfusion tonight and we can hopefully go home tomorrow. A good point came when I spoke to one of the docs, Hollys MRI shows a visible reduction in her hip tumour and this means that the chemo is having the desired effect. We don't know whether she will need surgery or not, this will be decided after more scans at the end of the chemo. It is the best result we could hope for at this stage of the treatment.
She has been alleviating the boredom with watching tv, msn and making new friends. It was very funny (and typical teenager!) that her and her new friend were msn'ing each other throughout the evening, even though they are in opposite beds and could just talk to each other! Holly missed out on the Easter Egg Hunt this morning though as she was feeling so rubbish. She still managed to aquire quite a few eggs though, loads are donated to the childrens wards. I am sure Izzy will help her out when we get home.
All has been well at home, Ben has been coping very well apparently. He took the Little Monsters to a dads baby group on Saturday (the first time he has taken them both out by himself) with Auntie Steve (Izzy doesnt say uncle) and the Little Monster cousins. They both decided that being "mums" was definitely easier than working all day! Right.............
I think we are both missing home and can't wait to get back.
Thursday 9 April 2009
A Lovely Few Days
It has been wonderful being at home with Holly and the Little Monsters this week. Holly is feeling well, although tired after a hectic day yesterday, and we have tried to make the most of some nice weather before we are back in ward C2 from tomorrow.
Yesterday morning was spent at my lovely friend Janes house for tea and a chat. I brought Holly and the Little Monsters and Jane had her 2 youngest there, the gorgeous Angel and Red. Now Jane lives in the most wonderful cottage, with low ceilings, original features and it is absolutely full of feminine touches. She has fairy lights and candles all over and it is a little boys paradise! As she will soon discover, little boys who have just started crawling are drawn to all these things like moths to a flame (or flies to ....!) Holly fell totally in love with the cottage and wants Jane to adopt her now! (I think Jane was quite glad when we went, only joking).
I had offered to take Holly and a friend out for the afternoon, so it was decided that Pizza Hut and the cinema were the favoured options. Lunch was great and it was nice to see Holly eating her monies worth from the buffet! We then went to see Marley & Me. What a lovely film but, omg it was so sad. I have to admit that I cried loads. I thought it would upset the girls but they seemed to take great delight in nudging each other and pointing at me every time I sniffed. I knew they were plotting something though and I was right. The afternoon out turned into a sleepover. They had loads of fun and it was lovely to see Holly enjoying the normal things every 11yr old girl should be enjoying. When we got home there was an answerphone message from one of the doctors at Addenbrookes to tell me that she had looked at Hollys MRI scan from last week and it was "looking better and we would talk when she saw me". This was a lovely end to a great day.
The nurse came today to do Hollys bloods. The results are all fine and we are back in Addenbrookes tomorrow for the Easter weekend for our next lot of chemo. All being well we should be out on Sunday or Monday.
Yesterday morning was spent at my lovely friend Janes house for tea and a chat. I brought Holly and the Little Monsters and Jane had her 2 youngest there, the gorgeous Angel and Red. Now Jane lives in the most wonderful cottage, with low ceilings, original features and it is absolutely full of feminine touches. She has fairy lights and candles all over and it is a little boys paradise! As she will soon discover, little boys who have just started crawling are drawn to all these things like moths to a flame (or flies to ....!) Holly fell totally in love with the cottage and wants Jane to adopt her now! (I think Jane was quite glad when we went, only joking).
I had offered to take Holly and a friend out for the afternoon, so it was decided that Pizza Hut and the cinema were the favoured options. Lunch was great and it was nice to see Holly eating her monies worth from the buffet! We then went to see Marley & Me. What a lovely film but, omg it was so sad. I have to admit that I cried loads. I thought it would upset the girls but they seemed to take great delight in nudging each other and pointing at me every time I sniffed. I knew they were plotting something though and I was right. The afternoon out turned into a sleepover. They had loads of fun and it was lovely to see Holly enjoying the normal things every 11yr old girl should be enjoying. When we got home there was an answerphone message from one of the doctors at Addenbrookes to tell me that she had looked at Hollys MRI scan from last week and it was "looking better and we would talk when she saw me". This was a lovely end to a great day.
The nurse came today to do Hollys bloods. The results are all fine and we are back in Addenbrookes tomorrow for the Easter weekend for our next lot of chemo. All being well we should be out on Sunday or Monday.
Sunday 5 April 2009
A Trip To The Seaside
Holly had spent Friday night at dad and Kirstys. She popped home for her GCSF injection on Saturday evening but then decided to spend Saturday night away too. Although I miss her I am really glad she is so well that she can do all these things.
As the weather has been so nice, Holly, dad and Kirsty went to Southend for the day. I am sitting here with Holly now so I can get all the info for this blog.
They started with lunch, fish and chips (what better choice for the seaside!). Next stop was the arcades where Holly has a dubious way of getting the machines to pay out. Apparently a sneaky shove with her arm results in the coins falling out! Nice to see she is learning useful new skills!
Golf was next on her list. She even managed a hole-in-one. She used to be terrible at mini-golf. Shame there wasn't a prize.
Talking of prizes, Holly loves all the fairground type prizes you can win. She decided that dad could play basketball for her as she had spotted a huge pink sparkly dolphin (very tasteful!). It is almost as big as Holly. Dad (after spending more than £10) had no luck so Kirsty had a go and managed to net the prize. She then had the honour of carrying said dolphin through Southend for the rest of the day.
Haunted House ride was next. Holly had been on before but it had been upgraded. Therefore it was a lot more scary than she had imagined and (for someone who wants to be a ghost hunter!!!!) she had a little scream. The last ride she fancied was a big skateboard that went from side to side and then got faster and faster. Then it was back to the arcade (for some more shoving) before coming home.
Izzy was most impressed with the dolphin and together with Millie (cousin) they decided that the dining room floor was the sea and they had loads of fun riding it! It is now in Hollys room resting, awaiting a fresh onslaught tomorrow.
Holly is now on Msn, and we are relaxing in her room. She is not tired (think that is due to bed time approaching) after all the fresh air. I feel tired just thinking about it!
She has had a lovely day and I am so pleased she is able to carry on with a normal life, you wouldn't think she was having intensive chemo every 10days and that makes me very proud.
As the weather has been so nice, Holly, dad and Kirsty went to Southend for the day. I am sitting here with Holly now so I can get all the info for this blog.
They started with lunch, fish and chips (what better choice for the seaside!). Next stop was the arcades where Holly has a dubious way of getting the machines to pay out. Apparently a sneaky shove with her arm results in the coins falling out! Nice to see she is learning useful new skills!
Golf was next on her list. She even managed a hole-in-one. She used to be terrible at mini-golf. Shame there wasn't a prize.
Talking of prizes, Holly loves all the fairground type prizes you can win. She decided that dad could play basketball for her as she had spotted a huge pink sparkly dolphin (very tasteful!). It is almost as big as Holly. Dad (after spending more than £10) had no luck so Kirsty had a go and managed to net the prize. She then had the honour of carrying said dolphin through Southend for the rest of the day.
Haunted House ride was next. Holly had been on before but it had been upgraded. Therefore it was a lot more scary than she had imagined and (for someone who wants to be a ghost hunter!!!!) she had a little scream. The last ride she fancied was a big skateboard that went from side to side and then got faster and faster. Then it was back to the arcade (for some more shoving) before coming home.
Izzy was most impressed with the dolphin and together with Millie (cousin) they decided that the dining room floor was the sea and they had loads of fun riding it! It is now in Hollys room resting, awaiting a fresh onslaught tomorrow.
Holly is now on Msn, and we are relaxing in her room. She is not tired (think that is due to bed time approaching) after all the fresh air. I feel tired just thinking about it!
She has had a lovely day and I am so pleased she is able to carry on with a normal life, you wouldn't think she was having intensive chemo every 10days and that makes me very proud.
Friday 3 April 2009
A Sunny Day
Holly, although tired, is still feeling good. I am so thankful that she is tolerating the chemo so well that we are able to live a relatively normal life at home. We had a quiet morning, Mum took the Little Monsters to baby group. I wish I could have taken then but am wary of subjecting Holly to all the bugs and germs floating around a roomful of babies and toddlers.
I have been busy though, in between all the various food demands from everyone, all the necessary household chores and the wig straightening (we washed the wig for the first time last night, my heart was in my mouth at the thought I might kill it!) I managed to go for a lovely lunch with my good friends Max and Julie. It was great to catch up although, even though I was only next door, I still managed to feel guilty that I was "skiving off". (Not so guilty however that I didn't manage to make plans for a girls night out!)
I must admit to feeling totally overwhelmed this week. No particular reason, except for the immense pressure I seem to be putting myself under. I am trying to be the "perfect mum", the "perfect girlfriend" and the "perfect housewife" all in one (though I think I am probably spectacularly failing on the last one!!!). I feel I am leaning more and more on my wonderful mum and that makes me feel like a failure. I know that it is irrational but that doesn't seem to make it any easier. I find myself snapping at people. I feel I am withdrawing into myself almost as if to protect my little family. Having given myself a talking to today however, I have realised that life isn't perfect and we have to make the best of what we have. Therefore, from today, I am determined to try and relax a little and go with whatever the day brings.
OMG, Holly suddenly decided last night that what little hair she had left was getting on her nerves. I walked into her bedroom to be greeted by the sight of her sitting on a little toddlers chair by her mirror chopping her hair off with a pair of curved nail scissors! It did make me laugh, she was even putting the old hair into her sick bowl (clean!). I decided to help and went and got the proper hair trimming scissors and we did it together.
We spent the sfternoon in the garden with the Little Monsters, Sis and Little Monsters Cousins. Holly does seem to be permanently attached to her laptop and didn't share our joy at the wondeful sunshine and fresh air. That being said all the little ones seemed more excited at playing in the big box the new car seat came in (major bargain - half price).
Holly has gone off tonight to spend the night at Dad and Kirstys, they are apparantly much more fun than us!
Its the Easter Holidays now so heres hoping the weather continues to be good and we can try and get out and about and make the most if it.
I have been busy though, in between all the various food demands from everyone, all the necessary household chores and the wig straightening (we washed the wig for the first time last night, my heart was in my mouth at the thought I might kill it!) I managed to go for a lovely lunch with my good friends Max and Julie. It was great to catch up although, even though I was only next door, I still managed to feel guilty that I was "skiving off". (Not so guilty however that I didn't manage to make plans for a girls night out!)
I must admit to feeling totally overwhelmed this week. No particular reason, except for the immense pressure I seem to be putting myself under. I am trying to be the "perfect mum", the "perfect girlfriend" and the "perfect housewife" all in one (though I think I am probably spectacularly failing on the last one!!!). I feel I am leaning more and more on my wonderful mum and that makes me feel like a failure. I know that it is irrational but that doesn't seem to make it any easier. I find myself snapping at people. I feel I am withdrawing into myself almost as if to protect my little family. Having given myself a talking to today however, I have realised that life isn't perfect and we have to make the best of what we have. Therefore, from today, I am determined to try and relax a little and go with whatever the day brings.
OMG, Holly suddenly decided last night that what little hair she had left was getting on her nerves. I walked into her bedroom to be greeted by the sight of her sitting on a little toddlers chair by her mirror chopping her hair off with a pair of curved nail scissors! It did make me laugh, she was even putting the old hair into her sick bowl (clean!). I decided to help and went and got the proper hair trimming scissors and we did it together.
We spent the sfternoon in the garden with the Little Monsters, Sis and Little Monsters Cousins. Holly does seem to be permanently attached to her laptop and didn't share our joy at the wondeful sunshine and fresh air. That being said all the little ones seemed more excited at playing in the big box the new car seat came in (major bargain - half price).
Holly has gone off tonight to spend the night at Dad and Kirstys, they are apparantly much more fun than us!
Its the Easter Holidays now so heres hoping the weather continues to be good and we can try and get out and about and make the most if it.
Wednesday 1 April 2009
MRI
Today was a day I have been dreading. The MRI scan.
We had to leave early to be at Addenbrookes for 8.45am. Holly was understandably tired and I was on edge as I know how hard the MRI scan is. This is a scan where she lies on a scanner and goes into a tunnel and it is extremely noisy. She was fab! Had a little wobble when we first went in but that was over with straight away. She then proceeded to lie still through all the noises while they scanned the various parts of her body. We were in there for the best part of an hour. I have to say we were both very pleased when it was over.
Then it was back to the day unit for her next bit of chemo. This was just a 4hr chemo with no hydration so (like yesterday) we were in and out in a day. She has been fine, no sickness today and it has been great not having to be admitted to C2. It went quite quickly as we mananged to pass the time with a film and lots of chat with various people.
Holly has been quite busy. She is exploring her new laptop and experimenting with new tasks. Her latest has been a little film for youtube. Please, if you have a minute, check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CH8y_3DKzm4
She did this all by herself and just presented me with the finished article. I have to say it made me cry. I am so proud of my amazing little girl. Not so little now though, she has become so grown up in the last couple of months. I find myself overwhelmed with sadness that my little girl has had to grow up so much and see things that no child should have to see. I wish that the hardest decision she had to make was who her best friend was going to be this week!
It has been a really long day so I will keep this brief (also The Apprentice has already started!). Our next lot of chemo is not until next Friday so it looks that (fingers crossed) we have a good long spell at home.
We had to leave early to be at Addenbrookes for 8.45am. Holly was understandably tired and I was on edge as I know how hard the MRI scan is. This is a scan where she lies on a scanner and goes into a tunnel and it is extremely noisy. She was fab! Had a little wobble when we first went in but that was over with straight away. She then proceeded to lie still through all the noises while they scanned the various parts of her body. We were in there for the best part of an hour. I have to say we were both very pleased when it was over.
Then it was back to the day unit for her next bit of chemo. This was just a 4hr chemo with no hydration so (like yesterday) we were in and out in a day. She has been fine, no sickness today and it has been great not having to be admitted to C2. It went quite quickly as we mananged to pass the time with a film and lots of chat with various people.
Holly has been quite busy. She is exploring her new laptop and experimenting with new tasks. Her latest has been a little film for youtube. Please, if you have a minute, check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CH8y_3DKzm4
She did this all by herself and just presented me with the finished article. I have to say it made me cry. I am so proud of my amazing little girl. Not so little now though, she has become so grown up in the last couple of months. I find myself overwhelmed with sadness that my little girl has had to grow up so much and see things that no child should have to see. I wish that the hardest decision she had to make was who her best friend was going to be this week!
It has been a really long day so I will keep this brief (also The Apprentice has already started!). Our next lot of chemo is not until next Friday so it looks that (fingers crossed) we have a good long spell at home.
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