A Sunny Day

Holly, although tired, is still feeling good. I am so thankful that she is tolerating the chemo so well that we are able to live a relatively normal life at home. We had a quiet morning, Mum took the Little Monsters to baby group. I wish I could have taken then but am wary of subjecting Holly to all the bugs and germs floating around a roomful of babies and toddlers.

I have been busy though, in between all the various food demands from everyone, all the necessary household chores and the wig straightening (we washed the wig for the first time last night, my heart was in my mouth at the thought I might kill it!) I managed to go for a lovely lunch with my good friends Max and Julie. It was great to catch up although, even though I was only next door, I still managed to feel guilty that I was "skiving off". (Not so guilty however that I didn't manage to make plans for a girls night out!)

I must admit to feeling totally overwhelmed this week. No particular reason, except for the immense pressure I seem to be putting myself under. I am trying to be the "perfect mum", the "perfect girlfriend" and the "perfect housewife" all in one (though I think I am probably spectacularly failing on the last one!!!). I feel I am leaning more and more on my wonderful mum and that makes me feel like a failure. I know that it is irrational but that doesn't seem to make it any easier. I find myself snapping at people. I feel I am withdrawing into myself almost as if to protect my little family. Having given myself a talking to today however, I have realised that life isn't perfect and we have to make the best of what we have. Therefore, from today, I am determined to try and relax a little and go with whatever the day brings.

OMG, Holly suddenly decided last night that what little hair she had left was getting on her nerves. I walked into her bedroom to be greeted by the sight of her sitting on a little toddlers chair by her mirror chopping her hair off with a pair of curved nail scissors! It did make me laugh, she was even putting the old hair into her sick bowl (clean!). I decided to help and went and got the proper hair trimming scissors and we did it together.

We spent the sfternoon in the garden with the Little Monsters, Sis and Little Monsters Cousins. Holly does seem to be permanently attached to her laptop and didn't share our joy at the wondeful sunshine and fresh air. That being said all the little ones seemed more excited at playing in the big box the new car seat came in (major bargain - half price).
Holly has gone off tonight to spend the night at Dad and Kirstys, they are apparantly much more fun than us!

Its the Easter Holidays now so heres hoping the weather continues to be good and we can try and get out and about and make the most if it.